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Don't underestimate me darling, I can go from Lady to Ghetto in 2.5 seconds.
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Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny and reminds me alot of myself...from one fabulous bitch to another!
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All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) I want my Flappy
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May your finals be as easy as you are.
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Fuck this, fuck you, fuck everyone. Just fuck this fucking shit, you mother fucker and for all you looking at me fuck off
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My condolences on losing your balls.
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If you need to talk, I will pretend to listen.
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Apparently God only gives us what he thinks we can handle. He must think I'm a bad-ass.
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Thanks for texting me after the hurricane to see if I died.
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All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me bike parts!
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People say you never know what you have until it's gone. Well, I know what I had and I'm glad you're gone.
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I was blessed with an awesome personality, a great ass, and a beautiful face. It just wouldn't be fair to the other girls if God gave me big boo...
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If I were a Lannister you would be my sister.
I have an irrational fear of wasting a good outfit on an insignificant day.
Club goin' up, on a Tuesday Got your girl in the cut and she choosey
I still masturbate to you!
iTunes has it all wrong. The hottest single of the year is me.
You can't fix stupid but you can watch it in action everyday at Parker Hannifin.
I wish you weren't here.
Congratulations on sleeping with the same person for the rest of eternity.
It's too bad your sarcastic comment was completely ruined by your inability to use correct grammar.
I'm sorry for the unkind words I spoke out of hunger.