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Don't underestimate me darling, I can go from Lady to Ghetto in 2.5 seconds.
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Apparently God only gives us what he thinks we can handle. He must think I'm a bad-ass.
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Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny and reminds me alot of myself...from one fabulous bitch to another!
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All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) I want my Flappy
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May your finals be as easy as you are.
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Fuck this, fuck you, fuck everyone. Just fuck this fucking shit, you mother fucker and for all you looking at me fuck off
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My condolences on losing your balls.
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If you need to talk, I will pretend to listen.
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Friends are God’s way of apologizing for family.
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Let's not put a label on what we're doing, let's just say it works until we both find someone better.
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Life is too short to date a douche bag.
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Oh honey I see right through fake smiles and fake kindness. God didn't give me a sixth sense for nothing.
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I wish we had even clue as to what we're doing
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Now accepting applications for a partner in crime, must have a sense of humor, attention to detail nudity may be required
Today is the: World Contraception Day
I would even do the thing Meat Loaf wouldn't do for love for you.
Happy Valentine's Day Madafaka
Behind every crazy woman is a man that made her that way.
Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny and reminds me alot of myself...from one fabulous bitch to another!
There is no magic pill. No special shake. No secret diet. Just get off your ass.