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Don't underestimate me darling, I can go from Lady to Ghetto in 2.5 seconds.
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Apparently God only gives us what he thinks we can handle. He must think I'm a bad-ass.
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Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny and reminds me alot of myself...from one fabulous bitch to another!
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All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) I want my Flappy
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May your finals be as easy as you are.
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Fuck this, fuck you, fuck everyone. Just fuck this fucking shit, you mother fucker and for all you looking at me fuck off
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My condolences on losing your balls.
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If you need to talk, I will pretend to listen.
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Friends are God’s way of apologizing for family.
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Let's not put a label on what we're doing, let's just say it works until we both find someone better.
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Life is too short to date a douche bag.
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Oh honey I see right through fake smiles and fake kindness. God didn't give me a sixth sense for nothing.
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  • Today is the International Day for the Preservation of the Ozone Layer, so get a grip and stop polluting
  • Sorry you can't sleep! Thinking of you and hoping the next time you're awake at 2 am, it's for the right reasons...
  • I was blessed with an awesome personality, a great ass, and a beautiful face. It just wouldn't be fair to the other girls if God gave me big boo...
  • If you must burn our flag, please wrap yourself in it first.
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  • I used to think you took my breath away, then I realised I was just suffocating on your bullshit.
  • Thanks for not ditching me in a dumpster.
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