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Don't underestimate me darling, I can go from Lady to Ghetto in 2.5 seconds.
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Fuck this, fuck you, fuck everyone. Just fuck this fucking shit, you mother fucker and for all you looking at me fuck off
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My condolences on losing your balls.
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If you need to talk, I will pretend to listen.
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Apparently God only gives us what he thinks we can handle. He must think I'm a bad-ass.
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Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny and reminds me alot of myself...from one fabulous bitch to another!
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All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) I want my Flappy
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May your finals be as easy as you are.
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Some people need to be hit real hard with reality, kicked in the face by karma, and take a big dose of grow the fuck up.
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I have come to the conclusion that I should definitely drink more when trying to deal with you.
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I eat cake on daily basis and I do not feel guilty, because I exercise.
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I think I'm falling Intolerate with you.
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I wont cry for you, my mascara's too expensive.
It's a bird! It's a plane! No... wait... It's just that flying fuck I don't give.
Merry Christmas to someone who is smart, sexy, friendly and reminds me a lot of myself!
Some people have the calm before the storm. I have the panic before the nothing.
People say you never know what you have until it's gone. Well, I know what I had and I'm glad you're gone.
Treat mom to a margarita this mother's day! Remember, you're the reason she drinks.
Just wanted to offer my deepest condolences on having to be in a relationship with me.