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College - The most expensive party I've ever been to.
This July 4th, let's celebrate our freedom to be trapped for five hours in horrifying standstill traffic.
If I ever have to run for my life, I would probably die.
Today I decided to just not give a fuck. And if you see me tomorrow, It will be the same.
Well I'm sorry, but I can't really help that I'm a badass motherfucker.
I'm excited this Thanksgiving to eat like the 1% and drink like the 99%.
Monday must be a man. It comes too quickly.
Congratulations on probably not dying alone.
I was blessed with an awesome personality, a great ass, and a beautiful face. It just wouldn't be fair to the other girls if God gave me big boo...
I think we need some time away from each other forever.