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The sound of my co-worker eating is equivalent to gorillas giving birth to quintuplets
More Wedding planning? ...ain't nobody got time for that!
If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.
Congratulations on driving sober.
Apparently God only gives us what he thinks we can handle. He must think I'm a bad-ass.
My life would be nothing without Dexter.
I don't regret burning my bridges. I regret that some people weren't on those bridges when I burnt them.
I wish I could order Karma like pizza and have it delivered in 30 min or less.
Coffee... The old school Energy Drink
I have an irrational fear of wasting a good outfit on an insignificant day.