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4th of July
St. Patrick's Day
Thinking of you
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I hope we have so much fun tonight that you have to tell me all about it tomorrow.
I can't believe how much I am not sick of you.
Let's celebrate the day you gave up on finding anyone better than me.
Congratulations on defying marriage statistics.
I'm sorry but there's no "clear history" button for your vagina.
It would be significantly easier to wish you a happy birthday if you were on Facebook
Where should we drink lunch today?
Happy birthday, Claudiu!
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Thanks for still wanting to have sex with me after seeing human beings emerge screaming for my vagina.
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