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God, grant me the serenity to accept the stupid people as they are, the courage to maintain self-control and the wisdom to know that if I act on ...
It would be significantly easier to wish you a happy birthday if you were on Facebook
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding the person is a complete idiot.
I hope we have so much fun tonight that you have to tell me all about it tomorrow.
Thanks for still wanting to have sex with me after seeing human beings emerge screaming for my vagina.
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
I'm sorry but there's no "clear history" button for your vagina.
I want to grow old and disgusting with you.
Happy birthday, Claudiu!
Today marks the first anniversary of me remembering when your anniversary is.
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