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Christmas Season
I'm a shopaholic on the road to recovery.... Just kidding. I'm actually on the road to the Dollar Tree
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All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) I want my Flappy
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All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me bike parts!
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All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me the latest swimming gear.
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Dear Santa, For Christmas I want a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don’t fuck it up like you did last year and the year before ...
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I’m dreaming of a White Christmas. But if the white runs outs, I will drink the red.
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Santa has been reading your Facebook status… He’s going to send you a dictionary for Christmas.
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I saw your Tumblr pictures….. You’re getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas.
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Merry Christmas to someone who is smart, sexy, friendly and reminds me a lot of myself!
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All I want for Christmas is enough alcohol to get me through Christmas.
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I love Christmas lights! They remind me of my friends. They all hang together, half of them don’t work, and the ones that do aren’t th...
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Bad girls like you don’t go on my naughty list… you go in my little black book.
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  • I hope you like this present better than I did when I received it.
  • Your gift will be arriving late or never.
  • I saw your Tumblr pictures….. You’re getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas.
  • All I want for Christmas is someone to fake an orgasm for.
  • We wish you a bloated Christmas and shit-faced New Year.
  • All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me the latest swimming gear.
  • ...and the cup for Mommy so she won't have to drink straight from her wine bottle.
  • I love Christmas lights! They remind me of my friends. They all hang together, half of them don’t work, and the ones that do aren’t th...
  • I'm too fucking drunk to remember what you wanted.
  • I'm pretty sure Santa chooses Ho Ho Hos before Bros.
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