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Your gift will be arriving late or never.
I'm pretty sure Santa chooses Ho Ho Hos before Bros.
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me bike parts!
May your medications trick you into believing you're actually having a Merry Christmas.
All I want for Christmas is someone to fake an orgasm for.
Dear Santa, For Christmas I want a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don’t fuck it up like you did last year and the year before ...
Dear Santa, I'm writing you to let you know that I've been naughty... and it was worth it. You fat, judgmental bastard.
We wish you a bloated Christmas and shit-faced New Year.
I hope you like this present better than I did when I received it.
It's October, so you know what that means....... Merry Christmas!
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