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I love Christmas lights! They remind me of my friends. They all hang together, half of them don’t work, and the ones that do aren’t th...
I'm pretty sure Santa chooses Ho Ho Hos before Bros.
You say Merry Christmas... I say pass the vodka.
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me bike parts!
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) I want my Flappy
Dear Santa, I'm writing you to let you know that I've been naughty... and it was worth it. You fat, judgmental bastard.
I hope you like this present better than I did when I received it.
Dear Santa, For Christmas I want a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don’t fuck it up like you did last year and the year before ...
Let's not get each other gifts unless you already got me one.
All I want for Christmas is enough alcohol to get me through Christmas.
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