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4th of July
St. Patrick's Day
Thinking of you
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America was not shut down properly. Would you like to start America in safe mode, with free healthcare and without guns? (Recommended)
I'm a shopaholic on the road to recovery... Just kidding. I'm actually on the road to the mall.
The best thing about you and me is me.
I'm always available to discuss your problems via text.
Don't forget that blow jobs are like flowers for men.
Welcome to the land where you can get sunburn and frostbite in the same week.
My condolences on losing your balls.
Oh honey I see right through fake smiles and fake kindness. God didn't give me a sixth sense for nothing.
I'd like to offer moral support but I have questionable morals.
I'm going to hell in every religion!
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