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I'd like to offer moral support but I have questionable morals.
My condolences on losing your balls.
If you need to talk, I will pretend to listen.
America was not shut down properly. Would you like to start America in safe mode, with free healthcare and without guns? (Recommended)
Don't forget that blow jobs are like flowers for men.
I'm always available to discuss your problems via text.
I'm a shopaholic on the road to recovery... Just kidding. I'm actually on the road to the mall.
I'm going to hell in every religion!
Men: if you ever wanna know what a woman's mind feels like, imagine a browser with 2,857 tabs open. All.The.Time.
If you can not win an argument, correct their grammar instead.
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