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I'll have you know, I want to kiss your lips, and at the same time I'd like to punch you in the face for even considering hurting me.
I'm breaking up with my belly fat. Sorry, fat, you're just not looking good anymore.
Please text me back so I know when it's a good time to call you to break up.
Life is too short to date a douche bag.
I wish I could order Karma like pizza and have it delivered in 30 min or less.
I wrote all of your opinions on toilet paper so I can wipe my ass with it.
I used to think you took my breath away then i realized I was just being suffocated by your bullshit!
My life will never be the same without you. It will be much better.
It's better to have loved and lost than to live with a psycho for the rest of your life.
Cheers to your breakup. It's about fucking time!
