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4th of July
St. Patrick's Day
Thinking of you
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Thanks. Your gift was absolutely perfect for someone who's not me.
If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.
If you knew how much I've been thinking about you, you wouldn't be talking to me right now.
I wish I really was as witty & sarcastic as people think I am, but the truth is that I'm just being brutally honest with them & they think ...
I only saved your number so I would know not to answer when you call.
America was not shut down properly. Would you like to start America in safe mode, with free healthcare and without guns? (Recommended)
Most people don't realize this, but you can train without telling Facebook about it.
Congratulations on driving sober.
May your college memories last as long as your student loan payments.
Sorry there's no Instagram filter to make you look less drunk in photos.
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