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May your college memories last as long as your student loan payments.
Congratulations on probably not dying alone.
I will break both my arms to succeed in carrying all the groceries into the house in one trip. That's what a real woman does.
All moms gave birth to a child except my mom. She gave birth to a legend.
Nothing is happiness like scoring front row tix to your fav band
Let's alternate blackouts so we can piece together our St Patrick's Day!
I love everybody, Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid and some I would love to punch in the face.
This Thanksgiving, cherish to time spent with your family as a reminder of why you moved very far away from your family.
If I hit snooze 3 times it should automatically send an email to my boss saying I'll be out sick.
It's not you, it's my horrible choice in men.