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Black Friday: Because only in America do people trample each other exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have!
You are just like bacon, you make everything better. Happy Valentine's Day
I want to grow old and disgusting with you.
If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it up and shove it up your ass.
I hope we have so much fun tonight that you have to tell me all about it tomorrow.
Dad you've always been like a father to me.
Great minds think alike, but dirty minds work together.
Happy Independence Day to all adults still living at home with their mother.
It's better to have loved and lost than to live with a psycho for the rest of your life.
The sound of my co-worker eating is equivalent to gorillas giving birth to quintuplets