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You can't fix stupid but you can watch it in action everyday at Parker Hannifin.
Happiness is finding half a bag of gummy bears in the bottom of your purse.
Googling your symptoms when you don't feel well is the most efficient way to convince yourself you're dying.
Thanksgiving makes me grateful Thanksgiving is almost over.
There is no life without water, because without water there is no coffee and without coffee, I will kill you all :)
The 4th of July used to mean something. Now it's just a reminder for Walmart to put out Halloween decorations.
Halloween means no difference to me... I'm a Witch all year.
I'm not convinced we've wasted enough time on this.
My grandma said the Internet has completely ruined people’s ability to communicate properly. I told her she didn’t know fuck about shi...
Just like lucky charms, I'm magically delicious! Happy St.Paddy's Day.