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I'm a shopaholic on the road to recovery... Just kidding. I'm actually on the road to the mall.
I'm always available to discuss your problems via text.
Apparently God only gives us what he thinks we can handle. He must think I'm a bad-ass.
If you need to talk, I will pretend to listen.
America was not shut down properly. Would you like to start America in safe mode, with free healthcare and without guns? (Recommended)
I'm going to hell in every religion!
If you can not win an argument, correct their grammar instead.
Oh honey I see right through fake smiles and fake kindness. God didn't give me a sixth sense for nothing.
Welcome to the land where you can get sunburn and frostbite in the same week.
I'd like to offer moral support but I have questionable morals.
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