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I love you and your sexy ass
I can't believe how much I'm not sick of you.
Today is a perfect day for you to treat an American veteran significantly better than America does.
I didn’t invent the word Bitch, I just perfected it.
Some people lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That's where I come in.
Just a reminder that your Valentine's Day plans for me, will be broadcast in real-time on at least three social media platforms.
I love Christmas lights! They remind me of my friends. They all hang together, half of them don’t work, and the ones that do aren’t th...
You are just like bacon, you make everything better. Happy Valentine's Day
Cheers to your breakup. It's about fucking time!
I declare that Groundhog's Day is bullshit. Who's with me?
