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I apologize that being a parent is very hard to fit into your schedule but what I did was canceled my life to make it work
I can't believe how much I'm not sick of you.
Today marks the first anniversary of me remembering when your anniversary is.
YOU are the SONG in my Heart
I hate to spend money on shoes and purses, but the economy needs me.
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
I'm pretty sure the cops are going to come question me tomorrow, about the wings I just murdered tonight.
Facebook is great for reminders! Every day it reminds of why I don't like people.
Congratulations on defying marriage statistics.
I smoked all my weed :(