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This Thanksgiving, cherish to time spent with your family as a reminder of why you moved very far away from your family.
Today I decided to just not give a fuck. And if you see me tomorrow, It will be the same.
Today is the International Day for the Preservation of the Ozone Layer, so get a grip and stop polluting
It's times like this son that I wish I would've left you on the sheets.
Thanks for being my support. You're like a good bra, you always "perk" me up.
I'd spend all 9 lives with you
Oh, you think I need parenting advice? Well thank you so much, and by that, I mean eat shit and die!
The best way to remember your 30th birthday, is not at all. Have fun.
Save a turkey. Stuff a mother-in-law.
FYI, It's not BABYSITTING If they're your own kids!
