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4th of July
St. Patrick's Day
Thinking of you
What is 7 plus 8:
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This Thanksgiving, try not to bitch-slap your mother-in-law... ...at least not too hard.
I'm not saying she's a slut, but her vagina volunteers a lot.
Happy 24 hours of constant Facebook notifications day.
I started on a new diet… It’s called the I have $10 until Friday diet.
YOU + ME ====>
Let's relax tonight by spending two hours trying to find something to watch on Netfix.
Treat mom to a margarita this mother's day! Remember, you're the reason she drinks.
I think when Jesus died for our sins, he wasn't fully aware of some of the shit we'd be getting into.
I want to grow old and disgusting with you.
I wish we had even clue as to what we're doing
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