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You don't like me? That's a shame. I'll pencil in some time to cry about it later. Right now, I'm busy enjoying my life, and I will be doing th...
I wrote a new song today.. It’s called “I could love you forever, If you were someone else.”
Please stop wishing upon me...I'm a different kind of star
Fine, I'll admit it. You're sorry.
When I go to Blanchette's wall, I fully expect train wrecks. They're my favorite!
Anyone can be cool, but awesomeness takes practice
I don't believe anything I read on Facebook, including my own status updates.
Failed another job interview today. Apparently taking part in an orgy isn’t proof that I can effectively work as part of a team.
You say Merry Christmas... I say pass the vodka.
Sometimes I'm amazed at just how much you can eat. Like, where does it all go? And how are you not full? And why the hell can't I do that?