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Happy Birthday Boomer!
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A true friend will be next to you saying, "damn, we fucked up".
Some people have the calm before the storm. I have the panic before the nothing.
My New Year’s Resolution is to become a skinny bitch… actually just skinny, I’m already a bitch.
I love you more than ________
Before you tell me what I did wrong, you should first know that I don't care.
I hope we have so much fun tonight that you have to tell me all about it tomorrow.
Thanks for dating someone ugly after me. I win.
I’m sorry I totally ignored whatever dramatic crisis you’re making up in your head today.
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me the latest swimming gear.
