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I think Facebook is broken. I put up a status and no one "liked" it even though I refreshed it a few times.
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) I want my Flappy
Today marks the first anniversary of me remembering when your anniversary is.
Life is too short. Never pass up the opportunity to make someone smile, or tell someone they’re a moron.
I apologize that being a parent is very hard to fit into your schedule but what I did was canceled my life to make it work
I only saved your number so I would know not to answer when you call.
I'm always available to discuss your problems via text.
I hope we have so much fun tonight that you have to tell me all about it tomorrow.
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
Funny Valentine's Day Ecard: If I worked in a restaurant on valentines day I would put fake engagement rings in all the women's glasses.