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Behind every good woman is a good friend.
Your secret is safe with me and my best friend.
Mocking stupid people is the glue that holds our friendship together!
You're a sarcastic asshole, you have a fucked up sense of humour and you're weird as fuck...I like that shit
A real best friend makes your family question your sexuality.
We are so hilarious. I feel bad for the people who don't get to listen to our conversations and enjoy our hilariousness.
I live in constant fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I've stalked you on the internet.
Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither.
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile.
I'm not a psychologist, but I see your problem, and it is YOU.
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