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Friends are God’s way of apologizing for family.
There’s always that one crazy family member who ruins every holiday.
Behind every crazy woman is a man that made her that way.
I will break both my arms to succeed in carrying all the groceries into the house in one trip. That's what a real woman does.
I'm so hungry I could eat my own cooking.
Homemade with love. In other words I licked the spoon and I keep using it.
Wow honey, the house is so clean! Was the internet down for a while today?
My family is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get but you can be sure there are gonna be some nuts in there somewhere.
Insanity doesn't run in my family. It strolls through getting to know us one at a time.
Never laugh at your wife’s choices….. You are one of them.
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