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I’m somewhat of a bullshitter myself, but occasionally, I like to listen to a real pro. Please carry on.
My mom thinks my friends are bad influences but honestly, I'm usually the one coming up with the ideas.
Behind every crazy woman is a man that made her that way.
My grandma said the Internet has completely ruined people’s ability to communicate properly. I told her she didn’t know fuck about shi...
I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my husband to go swimming.
Homemade with love. In other words I licked the spoon and I keep using it.
My family is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get but you can be sure there are gonna be some nuts in there somewhere.
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed.
Never laugh at your wife’s choices….. You are one of them.
I will break both my arms to succeed in carrying all the groceries into the house in one trip. That's what a real woman does.
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