Dear Parents, Thank You For Giving Me A Weird Na eCard

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I bet that when I was little girl my father never thought that I would grow up to be such a beautiful and loving financial obligation.
Homemade with love. In other words I licked the spoon and I keep using it.
It's incredibly easy to balance work & family when you don't care about either one.
Wow honey, the house is so clean! Was the internet down for a while today?
Never laugh at your wife’s choices….. You are one of them.
I will break both my arms to succeed in carrying all the groceries into the house in one trip. That's what a real woman does.
I’m somewhat of a bullshitter myself, but occasionally, I like to listen to a real pro. Please carry on.
My family is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get but you can be sure there are gonna be some nuts in there somewhere.
There’s always that one crazy family member who ruins every holiday.
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed.