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Nothing taste as good as skinny feels. Except pizza. Or cake...
I can hardly wait to hear what I'm going to say.
I’m not upset it’s Monday, I’m upset I have to change out of my Pajamas and put my bra back on.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear. So I whispered, "Let's go Rangers," in her ear.
I didn’t invent the word Bitch, I just perfected it.
Big or small? Pedigreed or rescue? Enough! My dog is a part of my soul. That's all you need to know!
If I’m still able to walk to the kitchen after sex, you don’t deserve a sandwich.
I’m not great at advice, may I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Happiness is finding half a bag of gummy bears in the bottom of your purse.
You make me wish I have more middle fingers.
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