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It's a bird! It's a plane! No... wait... It's just that flying fuck I don't give.
i hate it when people tell me swearing isn't necessary. I'm fucking vulgar, not stupid; I know it isn't fucking necessary!
Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.
The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.
Tried to count my swear words for one day. F**k that shit. I was born to swear.
There is no life without water, because without water there is no coffee and without coffee, I will kill you all :)
Dear life, When I asked if my day could get worse, it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.
Today I will not be Wearing a bra, Getting dressed, Or leaving the house Lazy Sunday
Instead of milk with my cereal I use vodka, and also instead of my cereal I use cranberry juice.
You know you're really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves...
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