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4th of July
St. Patrick's Day
Thinking of you
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Thanks for spending your parent's hard-earned money on me.
Dear liver, Thanks for all the support last night. I couldn't have done it without you!
I don't have a "Honey-Do" list... I have an "I'll-Do-It-My-Fucking- Self" list! And surprise! The shit gets done!
Thanks for texting me after the hurricane to see if I died.
Thanks for ignoring all my calls and texts while updating your Facebook every 5 minutes from your phone.
Thanks. Your gift was absolutely perfect for someone who's not me.
Your gift was absolutely perfect for someone who's not me.
Darling, it was the best 30 seconds, ever. Really.
Thanks for being my support. You're like a good bra, you always "perk" me up.
I was blessed with an awesome personality, a great ass, and a beautiful face. It just wouldn't be fair to the other girls if God gave me big boo...
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