Sympathy
Men: if you ever wanna know
what a woman's mind
feels like, imagine a
browser with 2,857
tabs open.
All.The.Time.
I'm a shopaholic on the road to
recovery...
Just kidding. I'm
actually on the
road to the mall.
If you need to talk,
I will pretend
to listen.
My condolences on losing your
balls.
I'm always available to discuss
your problems via text.
I'd like to offer moral support but I
have questionable
morals.
If you can not win an argument,
correct their
grammar instead.
Don't forget that
blow jobs are like
flowers for men.
The best thing about you and me
is me.
Apparently God only gives us
what he thinks we can
handle. He must think
I'm a bad-ass.
Welcome to the
land where you
can get sunburn
and frostbite in
the same
week.
I'm going to hell in every
religion!
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