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Today is the: World Contraception Day
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When everyone is arguing about something you solved a long time ago, but won't let you talk...
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Darling, It's not going to fuck itself...
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Club goin' up, on a Tuesday Got your girl in the cut and she choosey
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Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.
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I think Facebook is broken. I put up a status and no one "liked" it even though I refreshed it a few times.
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No one showers and shaves faster than a woman who thinks she's about to get laid.
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Big or small? Pedigreed or rescue? Enough! My dog is a part of my soul. That's all you need to know!
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I dont always lose my phone... ...but when I do, it's always on silent.
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That moment when you give someone advice, they don't listen to you, then you sit back and watch everything you predicted happen.
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Nothing taste as good as skinny feels. Except pizza. Or cake...
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I'm having an "out of money" experience!
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Top This Week
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  • Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.
  • Now accepting applications for a partner in crime, must have a sense of humor, attention to detail nudity may be required
  • I’m not great at advice, may I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
  • Failed another job interview today. Apparently taking part in an orgy isn’t proof that I can effectively work as part of a team.
  • Big or small? Pedigreed or rescue? Enough! My dog is a part of my soul. That's all you need to know!
  • Darling, It's not going to fuck itself...
  • Warning: I'm in Bitch Mode and I can't be responsible for what happens today.
  • I can hardly wait to hear what I'm going to say.
  • I scored 400 on Flappy Bird, should I put this achievement on my CV ?
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