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Today is the: World Contraception Day
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When everyone is arguing about something you solved a long time ago, but won't let you talk...
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Darling, It's not going to fuck itself...
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Club goin' up, on a Tuesday Got your girl in the cut and she choosey
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Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.
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I think Facebook is broken. I put up a status and no one "liked" it even though I refreshed it a few times.
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No one showers and shaves faster than a woman who thinks she's about to get laid.
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Big or small? Pedigreed or rescue? Enough! My dog is a part of my soul. That's all you need to know!
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I dont always lose my phone... ...but when I do, it's always on silent.
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That moment when you give someone advice, they don't listen to you, then you sit back and watch everything you predicted happen.
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Nothing taste as good as skinny feels. Except pizza. Or cake...
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I'm having an "out of money" experience!
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Club goin' up, on a Tuesday Got your girl in the cut and she choosey
You make me wish I have more middle fingers.
Coffee... The old school Energy Drink
What do you mean I should be more productive? Do you think this cocktail made itself?
Let's not put a label on what we're doing, let's just say it works until we both find someone better.
I scored 400 on Flappy Bird, should I put this achievement on my CV ?
Nothing taste as good as skinny feels. Except pizza. Or cake...
Before you ask someone why they don't like you, ask yourself why you care.
That moment when you give someone advice, they don't listen to you, then you sit back and watch everything you predicted happen.
Failed another job interview today. Apparently taking part in an orgy isn’t proof that I can effectively work as part of a team.