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Today is the: World Contraception Day
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When everyone is arguing about something you solved a long time ago, but won't let you talk...
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Darling, It's not going to fuck itself...
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Club goin' up, on a Tuesday Got your girl in the cut and she choosey
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Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.
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I think Facebook is broken. I put up a status and no one "liked" it even though I refreshed it a few times.
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No one showers and shaves faster than a woman who thinks she's about to get laid.
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Big or small? Pedigreed or rescue? Enough! My dog is a part of my soul. That's all you need to know!
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I dont always lose my phone... ...but when I do, it's always on silent.
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That moment when you give someone advice, they don't listen to you, then you sit back and watch everything you predicted happen.
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Nothing taste as good as skinny feels. Except pizza. Or cake...
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I'm having an "out of money" experience!
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Top This Week
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  • Happiness is finding half a bag of gummy bears in the bottom of your purse.
  • Big or small? Pedigreed or rescue? Enough! My dog is a part of my soul. That's all you need to know!
  • Monday must be a man. It comes too quickly.
  • That moment when you give someone advice, they don't listen to you, then you sit back and watch everything you predicted happen.
  • If I’m still able to walk to the kitchen after sex, you don’t deserve a sandwich.
  • You want to know secret, how I reached high scores on Flappy Bird? I tap the screen with my middle finger.
  • Sometimes I wish my pet’s could talk, then I remember all the thing’s they’ve seen me do when I’m alone.
  • This weekend should be fun...I have absolutely no intention on being good.
  • Today is the: World Contraception Day
  • I’m not upset it’s Monday, I’m upset I have to change out of my Pajamas and put my bra back on.
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