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I'd like to offer moral support but I have questionable morals.
Men: if you ever wanna know what a woman's mind feels like, imagine a browser with 2,857 tabs open. All.The.Time.
If you need to talk, I will pretend to listen.
Welcome to the land where you can get sunburn and frostbite in the same week.
Apparently God only gives us what he thinks we can handle. He must think I'm a bad-ass.
America was not shut down properly. Would you like to start America in safe mode, with free healthcare and without guns? (Recommended)
If you can not win an argument, correct their grammar instead.
I'm always available to discuss your problems via text.
Oh honey I see right through fake smiles and fake kindness. God didn't give me a sixth sense for nothing.
I'm going to hell in every religion!
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