Friendship
Your secret is safe
with me and my
best friend.
I live in constant fear of
accidentally mentioning
something I only
know about you
because I've
stalked you on
the internet.
Everyone needs a smart-assed,
sarcastic friend.
I'm so happy to be
of service to you.
Mocking stupid people is the
glue that holds our
friendship together!
Sorry there's no Instagram filter to
make you look less
drunk in photos.
You're a sarcastic asshole, you
have a fucked up sense of
humour and you're weird as
fuck...I like that shit
I like to surround myself with
people who share in my
inappropriate comments,
sarcasm and random
shenanigans.
Behind every good woman is a
good friend.
We are so hilarious. I feel bad for
the people who don't get
to listen to our
conversations
and enjoy our
hilariousness.
Happy birthday to someone who
is smart, gorgeous, funny and
reminds me alot of myself...from
one fabulous bitch to another!
I have come to the conclusion that
I should definitely drink
more when trying
to deal with you.
As your best friend, I will always
be there for you. Until you post a
picture of me on Facebook I didn’t
approve.
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