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She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear. So I whispered, "Let's go Rangers," in her ear.
Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.
I don’t get how people can have sex on airplanes. Where do they shower and cry when they’re done?
Failed another job interview today. Apparently taking part in an orgy isn’t proof that I can effectively work as part of a team.
I’m not great at advice, may I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Today is the: World Contraception Day
Darling, It's not going to fuck itself...
You make me wish I have more middle fingers.
Fuck this, fuck you, fuck everyone. Just fuck this fucking shit, you mother fucker and for all you looking at me fuck off
Water is so good when it’s mixed with barley, hops, and yeast.
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