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A real friend is someone who knows how totally crazy you really are, but is still willing to be seen out in public with you.
I think I have Alzheimer's because I can't remember when I asked you for your fucking opinion?
I have come to the conclusion that I should definitely drink more when trying to deal with you.
True friends don't get offended when you insult them. They laugh and insult you back with something even better.
I like to surround myself with people who share in my inappropriate comments, sarcasm and random shenanigans.
You're a sarcastic asshole, you have a fucked up sense of humour and you're weird as fuck...I like that shit
Your secret is safe with me and my best friend.
As your best friend, I will always be there for you. Until you post a picture of me on Facebook I didn’t approve.
I live in constant fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I've stalked you on the internet.
I'm not a psychologist, but I see your problem, and it is YOU.
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