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I like to surround myself with people who share in my inappropriate comments, sarcasm and random shenanigans.
I live in constant fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I've stalked you on the internet.
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile.
I have come to the conclusion that I should definitely drink more when trying to deal with you.
Behind every good woman is a good friend.
I think I have Alzheimer's because I can't remember when I asked you for your fucking opinion?
Make no mistake between my personality and my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.
A real friend is someone who knows how totally crazy you really are, but is still willing to be seen out in public with you.
We are so hilarious. I feel bad for the people who don't get to listen to our conversations and enjoy our hilariousness.
As your best friend, I will always be there for you. Until you post a picture of me on Facebook I didn’t approve.
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