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I'm not a psychologist, but I see your problem, and it is YOU.
Mocking stupid people is the glue that holds our friendship together!
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile.
A real friend is someone who knows how totally crazy you really are, but is still willing to be seen out in public with you.
You're a sarcastic asshole, you have a fucked up sense of humour and you're weird as fuck...I like that shit
I like to surround myself with people who share in my inappropriate comments, sarcasm and random shenanigans.
We are so hilarious. I feel bad for the people who don't get to listen to our conversations and enjoy our hilariousness.
I live in constant fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I've stalked you on the internet.
Your secret is safe with me and my best friend.
True friends don't get offended when you insult them. They laugh and insult you back with something even better.
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