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Behind every good woman is a good friend.
True friends don't get offended when you insult them. They laugh and insult you back with something even better.
Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny and reminds me alot of myself...from one fabulous bitch to another!
As your best friend, I will always be there for you. Until you post a picture of me on Facebook I didn’t approve.
You're a sarcastic asshole, you have a fucked up sense of humour and you're weird as fuck...I like that shit
Make no mistake between my personality and my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.
I like to surround myself with people who share in my inappropriate comments, sarcasm and random shenanigans.
Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither.
I have come to the conclusion that I should definitely drink more when trying to deal with you.
I'm not a psychologist, but I see your problem, and it is YOU.