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I like to surround myself with people who share in my inappropriate comments, sarcasm and random shenanigans.
Mocking stupid people is the glue that holds our friendship together!
Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither.
True friends don't get offended when you insult them. They laugh and insult you back with something even better.
I live in constant fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I've stalked you on the internet.
Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny and reminds me alot of myself...from one fabulous bitch to another!
Make no mistake between my personality and my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.
We are so hilarious. I feel bad for the people who don't get to listen to our conversations and enjoy our hilariousness.
A real friend is someone who knows how totally crazy you really are, but is still willing to be seen out in public with you.
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile.
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