Your Secret Is Safe With Me And My Best Frie eCard

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I live in constant fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I've stalked you on the internet.
Mocking stupid people is the glue that holds our friendship together!
A real best friend makes your family question your sexuality.
True friends don't get offended when you insult them. They laugh and insult you back with something even better.
A real friend is someone who knows how totally crazy you really are, but is still willing to be seen out in public with you.
We are so hilarious. I feel bad for the people who don't get to listen to our conversations and enjoy our hilariousness.
Sorry there's no Instagram filter to make you look less drunk in photos.
Behind every good woman is a good friend.
I think I have Alzheimer's because I can't remember when I asked you for your fucking opinion?
I'm not a psychologist, but I see your problem, and it is YOU.