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Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither.
Everyone needs a smart-assed, sarcastic friend. I'm so happy to be of service to you.
A real best friend makes your family question your sexuality.
You're a sarcastic asshole, you have a fucked up sense of humour and you're weird as fuck...I like that shit
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile.
I live in constant fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I've stalked you on the internet.
Mocking stupid people is the glue that holds our friendship together!
Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny and reminds me alot of myself...from one fabulous bitch to another!
I'm not a psychologist, but I see your problem, and it is YOU.
A real friend is someone who knows how totally crazy you really are, but is still willing to be seen out in public with you.
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