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I have come to the conclusion that I should definitely drink more when trying to deal with you.
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile.
Mocking stupid people is the glue that holds our friendship together!
Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither.
I like to surround myself with people who share in my inappropriate comments, sarcasm and random shenanigans.
I'm not a psychologist, but I see your problem, and it is YOU.
A real friend is someone who knows how totally crazy you really are, but is still willing to be seen out in public with you.
A real best friend makes your family question your sexuality.
You're a sarcastic asshole, you have a fucked up sense of humour and you're weird as fuck...I like that shit
Your secret is safe with me and my best friend.
