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Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither.
Mocking stupid people is the glue that holds our friendship together!
Everyone needs a smart-assed, sarcastic friend. I'm so happy to be of service to you.
Make no mistake between my personality and my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.
I like to surround myself with people who share in my inappropriate comments, sarcasm and random shenanigans.
I live in constant fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I've stalked you on the internet.
As your best friend, I will always be there for you. Until you post a picture of me on Facebook I didn’t approve.
Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny and reminds me alot of myself...from one fabulous bitch to another!
We are so hilarious. I feel bad for the people who don't get to listen to our conversations and enjoy our hilariousness.
Sorry there's no Instagram filter to make you look less drunk in photos.
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