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I think I have Alzheimer's because I can't remember when I asked you for your fucking opinion?
A real best friend makes your family question your sexuality.
You're a sarcastic asshole, you have a fucked up sense of humour and you're weird as fuck...I like that shit
Mocking stupid people is the glue that holds our friendship together!
I'm not a psychologist, but I see your problem, and it is YOU.
True friends don't get offended when you insult them. They laugh and insult you back with something even better.
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile.
As your best friend, I will always be there for you. Until you post a picture of me on Facebook I didn’t approve.
Behind every good woman is a good friend.
Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither.