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Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither.
I live in constant fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I've stalked you on the internet.
Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny and reminds me alot of myself...from one fabulous bitch to another!
We are so hilarious. I feel bad for the people who don't get to listen to our conversations and enjoy our hilariousness.
I think I have Alzheimer's because I can't remember when I asked you for your fucking opinion?
I like to surround myself with people who share in my inappropriate comments, sarcasm and random shenanigans.
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile.
Everyone needs a smart-assed, sarcastic friend. I'm so happy to be of service to you.
True friends don't get offended when you insult them. They laugh and insult you back with something even better.
I'm not a psychologist, but I see your problem, and it is YOU.
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