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We are so hilarious. I feel bad for the people who don't get to listen to our conversations and enjoy our hilariousness.
Sorry there's no Instagram filter to make you look less drunk in photos.
Your secret is safe with me and my best friend.
Everyone needs a smart-assed, sarcastic friend. I'm so happy to be of service to you.
Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither.
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile.
Make no mistake between my personality and my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.
A real best friend makes your family question your sexuality.
I like to surround myself with people who share in my inappropriate comments, sarcasm and random shenanigans.
I live in constant fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I've stalked you on the internet.
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