Behind Every Good Woman Is A Good Friend. eCard

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I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile.
Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny and reminds me alot of myself...from one fabulous bitch to another!
You're a sarcastic asshole, you have a fucked up sense of humour and you're weird as fuck...I like that shit
True friends don't get offended when you insult them. They laugh and insult you back with something even better.
Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither.
We are so hilarious. I feel bad for the people who don't get to listen to our conversations and enjoy our hilariousness.
Everyone needs a smart-assed, sarcastic friend. I'm so happy to be of service to you.
I have come to the conclusion that I should definitely drink more when trying to deal with you.
I'm not a psychologist, but I see your problem, and it is YOU.
Make no mistake between my personality and my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.