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You're a sarcastic asshole, you have a fucked up sense of humour and you're weird as fuck...I like that shit
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile.
As your best friend, I will always be there for you. Until you post a picture of me on Facebook I didn’t approve.
I live in constant fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I've stalked you on the internet.
Mocking stupid people is the glue that holds our friendship together!
True friends don't get offended when you insult them. They laugh and insult you back with something even better.
Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither.
Everyone needs a smart-assed, sarcastic friend. I'm so happy to be of service to you.
Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny and reminds me alot of myself...from one fabulous bitch to another!
We are so hilarious. I feel bad for the people who don't get to listen to our conversations and enjoy our hilariousness.
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