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Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither.
I think I have Alzheimer's because I can't remember when I asked you for your fucking opinion?
You're a sarcastic asshole, you have a fucked up sense of humour and you're weird as fuck...I like that shit
As your best friend, I will always be there for you. Until you post a picture of me on Facebook I didn’t approve.
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile.
Your secret is safe with me and my best friend.
Everyone needs a smart-assed, sarcastic friend. I'm so happy to be of service to you.
I have come to the conclusion that I should definitely drink more when trying to deal with you.
True friends don't get offended when you insult them. They laugh and insult you back with something even better.
Behind every good woman is a good friend.
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