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Mocking stupid people is the glue that holds our friendship together!
As your best friend, I will always be there for you. Until you post a picture of me on Facebook I didn’t approve.
Make no mistake between my personality and my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.
Your secret is safe with me and my best friend.
A real best friend makes your family question your sexuality.
You're a sarcastic asshole, you have a fucked up sense of humour and you're weird as fuck...I like that shit
Everyone needs a smart-assed, sarcastic friend. I'm so happy to be of service to you.
Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither.
Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny and reminds me alot of myself...from one fabulous bitch to another!
Sorry there's no Instagram filter to make you look less drunk in photos.
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