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Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither.
Behind every good woman is a good friend.
Everyone needs a smart-assed, sarcastic friend. I'm so happy to be of service to you.
Your secret is safe with me and my best friend.
True friends don't get offended when you insult them. They laugh and insult you back with something even better.
Mocking stupid people is the glue that holds our friendship together!
I think I have Alzheimer's because I can't remember when I asked you for your fucking opinion?
As your best friend, I will always be there for you. Until you post a picture of me on Facebook I didn’t approve.
Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny and reminds me alot of myself...from one fabulous bitch to another!
Sorry there's no Instagram filter to make you look less drunk in photos.
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