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Everyone needs a smart-assed, sarcastic friend. I'm so happy to be of service to you.
We are so hilarious. I feel bad for the people who don't get to listen to our conversations and enjoy our hilariousness.
I like to surround myself with people who share in my inappropriate comments, sarcasm and random shenanigans.
I have come to the conclusion that I should definitely drink more when trying to deal with you.
A real best friend makes your family question your sexuality.
Sorry there's no Instagram filter to make you look less drunk in photos.
Behind every good woman is a good friend.
I live in constant fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I've stalked you on the internet.
Your secret is safe with me and my best friend.
Mocking stupid people is the glue that holds our friendship together!
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