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I don’t get how people can have sex on airplanes. Where do they shower and cry when they’re done?
I dont always lose my phone... ...but when I do, it's always on silent.
Today is the: World Contraception Day
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear. So I whispered, "Let's go Rangers," in her ear.
This weekend should be fun...I have absolutely no intention on being good.
Monday must be a man. It comes too quickly.
Water is so good when it’s mixed with barley, hops, and yeast.
I can hardly wait to hear what I'm going to say.
Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.
I have an irrational fear of wasting a good outfit on an insignificant day.
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