I'm Having An "Out Of Money" Experience! eCard

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Monday must be a man. It comes too quickly.
I have an irrational fear of wasting a good outfit on an insignificant day.
That moment when you give someone advice, they don't listen to you, then you sit back and watch everything you predicted happen.
Let's not put a label on what we're doing, let's just say it works until we both find someone better.
Sometimes I wish my pet’s could talk, then I remember all the thing’s they’ve seen me do when I’m alone.
Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.
The next person that tells me I have Anger Issues is going to get the shit slapped out of them.
What do you mean I should be more productive? Do you think this cocktail made itself?
Failed another job interview today. Apparently taking part in an orgy isn’t proof that I can effectively work as part of a team.
Big or small? Pedigreed or rescue? Enough! My dog is a part of my soul. That's all you need to know!