No One Showers And Shaves Faster Than A Woman eCard

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No one showers and shaves faster than a woman who thinks she's about to get laid.
I think Facebook is broken. I put up a status and no one "liked" it even though I refreshed it a few times.
I’m not upset it’s Monday, I’m upset I have to change out of my Pajamas and put my bra back on.
Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.
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Nothing taste as good as skinny feels. Except pizza. Or cake...
Failed another job interview today. Apparently taking part in an orgy isn’t proof that I can effectively work as part of a team.
I’m not great at advice, may I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Sometimes I wish my pet’s could talk, then I remember all the thing’s they’ve seen me do when I’m alone.
Club goin' up, on a Tuesday Got your girl in the cut and she choosey