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I think Facebook is broken. I put up a status and no one "liked" it even though I refreshed it a few times.
I dont always lose my phone... ...but when I do, it's always on silent.
Sometimes I wish my pet’s could talk, then I remember all the thing’s they’ve seen me do when I’m alone.
You want to know secret, how I reached high scores on Flappy Bird? I tap the screen with my middle finger.
Before you ask someone why they don't like you, ask yourself why you care.
I’m not great at advice, may I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
This weekend should be fun...I have absolutely no intention on being good.
Now accepting applications for a partner in crime, must have a sense of humor, attention to detail nudity may be required
Club goin' up, on a Tuesday Got your girl in the cut and she choosey
Coffee... The old school Energy Drink
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