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She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear. So I whispered, "Let's go Rangers," in her ear.
This weekend should be fun...I have absolutely no intention on being good.
I think Facebook is broken. I put up a status and no one "liked" it even though I refreshed it a few times.
I'm having an "out of money" experience!
You want to know secret, how I reached high scores on Flappy Bird? I tap the screen with my middle finger.
Today is the: World Contraception Day
You make me wish I have more middle fingers.
Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.
Sometimes I wish my pet’s could talk, then I remember all the thing’s they’ve seen me do when I’m alone.
If I’m still able to walk to the kitchen after sex, you don’t deserve a sandwich.
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