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Thinking of you
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She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear. So I whispered, "Let's go Rangers," in her ear.
Darling, It's not going to fuck itself...
Before you ask someone why they don't like you, ask yourself why you care.
I dont always lose my phone... ...but when I do, it's always on silent.
I didn’t invent the word Bitch, I just perfected it.
You want to know secret, how I reached high scores on Flappy Bird? I tap the screen with my middle finger.
Today is the: World Contraception Day
Monday must be a man. It comes too quickly.
The next person that tells me I have Anger Issues is going to get the shit slapped out of them.
What do you mean I should be more productive? Do you think this cocktail made itself?
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