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I think Facebook is broken. I put up a status and no one "liked" it even though I refreshed it a few times.
Nothing taste as good as skinny feels. Except pizza. Or cake...
I’m not upset it’s Monday, I’m upset I have to change out of my Pajamas and put my bra back on.
I'm having an "out of money" experience!
What do you mean I should be more productive? Do you think this cocktail made itself?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear. So I whispered, "Let's go Rangers," in her ear.
No one showers and shaves faster than a woman who thinks she's about to get laid.
I’m not great at advice, may I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
I scored 400 on Flappy Bird, should I put this achievement on my CV ?
When everyone is arguing about something you solved a long time ago, but won't let you talk...
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