Failed Another Job Interview Today. Apparently eCard

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The next person that tells me I have Anger Issues is going to get the shit slapped out of them.
I have an irrational fear of wasting a good outfit on an insignificant day.
I wonder if she's still mad at me. Oh wait, she just "liked" my status. We're good.
That moment when you give someone advice, they don't listen to you, then you sit back and watch everything you predicted happen.
Failed another job interview today. Apparently taking part in an orgy isn’t proof that I can effectively work as part of a team.
Monday must be a man. It comes too quickly.
Let's not put a label on what we're doing, let's just say it works until we both find someone better.
If I’m still able to walk to the kitchen after sex, you don’t deserve a sandwich.
You make me wish I have more middle fingers.
What do you mean I should be more productive? Do you think this cocktail made itself?