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I’m not upset it’s Monday, I’m upset I have to change out of my Pajamas and put my bra back on.
You make me wish I have more middle fingers.
I wonder if she's still mad at me. Oh wait, she just "liked" my status. We're good.
I have an irrational fear of wasting a good outfit on an insignificant day.
What do you mean I should be more productive? Do you think this cocktail made itself?
Monday must be a man. It comes too quickly.
Today is the: World Contraception Day
If I’m still able to walk to the kitchen after sex, you don’t deserve a sandwich.
Warning: I'm in Bitch Mode and I can't be responsible for what happens today.
Now accepting applications for a partner in crime, must have a sense of humor, attention to detail nudity may be required
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