I Didn’t Invent The Word Bitch, I Just Perfected eCard

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Before you ask someone why they don't like you, ask yourself why you care.
You make me wish I have more middle fingers.
Club goin' up, on a Tuesday Got your girl in the cut and she choosey
That moment when you give someone advice, they don't listen to you, then you sit back and watch everything you predicted happen.
The next person that tells me I have Anger Issues is going to get the shit slapped out of them.
Happiness is finding half a bag of gummy bears in the bottom of your purse.
Let's not put a label on what we're doing, let's just say it works until we both find someone better.
I think Facebook is broken. I put up a status and no one "liked" it even though I refreshed it a few times.
I dont always lose my phone... ...but when I do, it's always on silent.
Darling, It's not going to fuck itself...