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I can hardly wait to hear what I'm going to say.
I’m not great at advice, may I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Fuck this, fuck you, fuck everyone. Just fuck this fucking shit, you mother fucker and for all you looking at me fuck off
I’m not upset it’s Monday, I’m upset I have to change out of my Pajamas and put my bra back on.
That moment when you give someone advice, they don't listen to you, then you sit back and watch everything you predicted happen.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear. So I whispered, "Let's go Rangers," in her ear.
If I’m still able to walk to the kitchen after sex, you don’t deserve a sandwich.
Darling, It's not going to fuck itself...
Let's not put a label on what we're doing, let's just say it works until we both find someone better.
No one showers and shaves faster than a woman who thinks she's about to get laid.
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