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When everyone is arguing about something you solved a long time ago, but won't let you talk...
I can hardly wait to hear what I'm going to say.
I’m not upset it’s Monday, I’m upset I have to change out of my Pajamas and put my bra back on.
This weekend should be fun...I have absolutely no intention on being good.
The next person that tells me I have Anger Issues is going to get the shit slapped out of them.
I don’t get how people can have sex on airplanes. Where do they shower and cry when they’re done?
You want to know secret, how I reached high scores on Flappy Bird? I tap the screen with my middle finger.
Darling, It's not going to fuck itself...
Big or small? Pedigreed or rescue? Enough! My dog is a part of my soul. That's all you need to know!
Sometimes I wish my pet’s could talk, then I remember all the thing’s they’ve seen me do when I’m alone.
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