Today Is The: World Contraception Day eCard

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Fuck this, fuck you, fuck everyone. Just fuck this fucking shit, you mother fucker and for all you looking at me fuck off
I have an irrational fear of wasting a good outfit on an insignificant day.
Let's not put a label on what we're doing, let's just say it works until we both find someone better.
I think Facebook is broken. I put up a status and no one "liked" it even though I refreshed it a few times.
Happiness is finding half a bag of gummy bears in the bottom of your purse.
You make me wish I have more middle fingers.
The next person that tells me I have Anger Issues is going to get the shit slapped out of them.
Failed another job interview today. Apparently taking part in an orgy isn’t proof that I can effectively work as part of a team.
Big or small? Pedigreed or rescue? Enough! My dog is a part of my soul. That's all you need to know!
I dont always lose my phone... ...but when I do, it's always on silent.