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What do you mean I should be more productive? Do you think this cocktail made itself?
Fuck this, fuck you, fuck everyone. Just fuck this fucking shit, you mother fucker and for all you looking at me fuck off
I dont always lose my phone... ...but when I do, it's always on silent.
Sometimes I wish my pet’s could talk, then I remember all the thing’s they’ve seen me do when I’m alone.
Let's not put a label on what we're doing, let's just say it works until we both find someone better.
You want to know secret, how I reached high scores on Flappy Bird? I tap the screen with my middle finger.
The next person that tells me I have Anger Issues is going to get the shit slapped out of them.
Before you ask someone why they don't like you, ask yourself why you care.
Warning: I'm in Bitch Mode and I can't be responsible for what happens today.
I don’t get how people can have sex on airplanes. Where do they shower and cry when they’re done?