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4th of July
St. Patrick's Day
Thinking of you
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I wonder if she's still mad at me. Oh wait, she just "liked" my status. We're good.
I’m not great at advice, may I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.
Monday must be a man. It comes too quickly.
That moment when you give someone advice, they don't listen to you, then you sit back and watch everything you predicted happen.
Now accepting applications for a partner in crime, must have a sense of humor, attention to detail nudity may be required
Darling, It's not going to fuck itself...
No one showers and shaves faster than a woman who thinks she's about to get laid.
Coffee... The old school Energy Drink
When everyone is arguing about something you solved a long time ago, but won't let you talk...
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