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We wish you a bloated Christmas and shit-faced New Year.
Dear Santa, I'm writing you to let you know that I've been naughty... and it was worth it. You fat, judgmental bastard.
I love Christmas lights! They remind me of my friends. They all hang together, half of them don’t work, and the ones that do aren’t th...
Let's not get each other gifts unless you already got me one.
I'm too fucking drunk to remember what you wanted.
Merry Christmas to someone who is smart, sexy, friendly and reminds me a lot of myself!
Your gift will be arriving late or never.
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me bike parts!
Santa has been reading your Facebook status… He’s going to send you a dictionary for Christmas.
It's October, so you know what that means....... Merry Christmas!
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