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May your medications trick you into believing you're actually having a Merry Christmas.
We wish you a bloated Christmas and shit-faced New Year.
Dear Santa, I'm writing you to let you know that I've been naughty... and it was worth it. You fat, judgmental bastard.
Bad girls like you don’t go on my naughty list… you go in my little black book.
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me bike parts!
...and the cup for Mommy so she won't have to drink straight from her wine bottle.
I love Christmas lights! They remind me of my friends. They all hang together, half of them don’t work, and the ones that do aren’t th...
Your gift will be arriving late or never.
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) I want my Flappy
Merry Christmas to someone who is smart, sexy, friendly and reminds me a lot of myself!
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