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All I want for Christmas is someone to fake an orgasm for.
I'm pretty sure Santa chooses Ho Ho Hos before Bros.
I saw your Tumblr pictures….. You’re getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas.
Dear Santa, For Christmas I want a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don’t fuck it up like you did last year and the year before ...
Dear Santa, I'm writing you to let you know that I've been naughty... and it was worth it. You fat, judgmental bastard.
All I want for Christmas is enough alcohol to get me through Christmas.
May your medications trick you into believing you're actually having a Merry Christmas.
Santa, I want the ability to punch people in the face over internet.
Merry Christmas to someone who is smart, sexy, friendly and reminds me a lot of myself!
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me bike parts!
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