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Wow honey, the house is so clean! Was the internet down for a while today?
My mom thinks my friends are bad influences but honestly, I'm usually the one coming up with the ideas.
Never laugh at your wife’s choices….. You are one of them.
Insanity doesn't run in my family. It strolls through getting to know us one at a time.
I'm so hungry I could eat my own cooking.
My grandma said the Internet has completely ruined people’s ability to communicate properly. I told her she didn’t know fuck about shi...
Just added my son as a friend on Facebook and his status said WTF mom It’s so cute of him that he greeted me with Welcome To Facebook Mo...
Homemade with love. In other words I licked the spoon and I keep using it.
Friends are God’s way of apologizing for family.
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed.
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