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We wish you a bloated Christmas and shit-faced New Year.
I love Christmas lights! They remind me of my friends. They all hang together, half of them don’t work, and the ones that do aren’t th...
Bad girls like you don’t go on my naughty list… you go in my little black book.
Dear Santa, I'm writing you to let you know that I've been naughty... and it was worth it. You fat, judgmental bastard.
Your gift will be arriving late or never.
All I want for Christmas is enough alcohol to get me through Christmas.
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me bike parts!
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) I want my Flappy
I’m dreaming of a White Christmas. But if the white runs outs, I will drink the red.
I saw your Tumblr pictures….. You’re getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas.
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