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All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me the latest swimming gear.
I hope you like this present better than I did when I received it.
Dear Santa, I'm writing you to let you know that I've been naughty... and it was worth it. You fat, judgmental bastard.
Dear Santa, For Christmas I want a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don’t fuck it up like you did last year and the year before ...
You say Merry Christmas... I say pass the vodka.
It's October, so you know what that means....... Merry Christmas!
May your medications trick you into believing you're actually having a Merry Christmas.
All I want for Christmas is enough alcohol to get me through Christmas.
Merry Christmas to someone who is smart, sexy, friendly and reminds me a lot of myself!
We wish you a bloated Christmas and shit-faced New Year.
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