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Santa has been reading your Facebook status… He’s going to send you a dictionary for Christmas.
We wish you a bloated Christmas and shit-faced New Year.
Let's not get each other gifts unless you already got me one.
Dear Santa, I'm writing you to let you know that I've been naughty... and it was worth it. You fat, judgmental bastard.
I'm pretty sure Santa chooses Ho Ho Hos before Bros.
I'm a shopaholic on the road to recovery.... Just kidding. I'm actually on the road to the Dollar Tree
Your gift will be arriving late or never.
May your medications trick you into believing you're actually having a Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas to someone who is smart, sexy, friendly and reminds me a lot of myself!
