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We wish you a bloated Christmas and shit-faced New Year.
All I want for Christmas is someone to fake an orgasm for.
All I want for Christmas is enough alcohol to get me through Christmas.
Let's not get each other gifts unless you already got me one.
It's October, so you know what that means....... Merry Christmas!
May your medications trick you into believing you're actually having a Merry Christmas.
Santa has been reading your Facebook status… He’s going to send you a dictionary for Christmas.
Merry Christmas to someone who is smart, sexy, friendly and reminds me a lot of myself!
You say Merry Christmas... I say pass the vodka.
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me bike parts!
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