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Dear Santa, For Christmas I want a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don’t fuck it up like you did last year and the year before ...
Dear Santa, I'm writing you to let you know that I've been naughty... and it was worth it. You fat, judgmental bastard.
Santa, I want the ability to punch people in the face over internet.
You say Merry Christmas... I say pass the vodka.
I'm a shopaholic on the road to recovery.... Just kidding. I'm actually on the road to the Dollar Tree
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me the latest swimming gear.
I love Christmas lights! They remind me of my friends. They all hang together, half of them don’t work, and the ones that do aren’t th...
We wish you a bloated Christmas and shit-faced New Year.
Merry Christmas to someone who is smart, sexy, friendly and reminds me a lot of myself!
Bad girls like you don’t go on my naughty list… you go in my little black book.
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