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Your gift will be arriving late or never.
...and the cup for Mommy so she won't have to drink straight from her wine bottle.
Merry Christmas to someone who is smart, sexy, friendly and reminds me a lot of myself!
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me the latest swimming gear.
Let's not get each other gifts unless you already got me one.
Dear Santa, For Christmas I want a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don’t fuck it up like you did last year and the year before ...
May your medications trick you into believing you're actually having a Merry Christmas.
I'm pretty sure Santa chooses Ho Ho Hos before Bros.
I saw your Tumblr pictures….. You’re getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas.
We wish you a bloated Christmas and shit-faced New Year.
