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4th of July
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Thinking of you
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I'm too fucking drunk to remember what you wanted.
We wish you a bloated Christmas and shit-faced New Year.
Santa, I want the ability to punch people in the face over internet.
Dear Santa, For Christmas I want a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don’t fuck it up like you did last year and the year before ...
It's October, so you know what that means....... Merry Christmas!
All I want for Christmas is enough alcohol to get me through Christmas.
I’m dreaming of a White Christmas. But if the white runs outs, I will drink the red.
All I want for Christmas is someone to fake an orgasm for.
I'm pretty sure Santa chooses Ho Ho Hos before Bros.
Let's not get each other gifts unless you already got me one.
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