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You say Merry Christmas... I say pass the vodka.
Your gift will be arriving late or never.
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me the latest swimming gear.
It's October, so you know what that means....... Merry Christmas!
I’m dreaming of a White Christmas. But if the white runs outs, I will drink the red.
I saw your Tumblr pictures….. You’re getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas.
Dear Santa, I'm writing you to let you know that I've been naughty... and it was worth it. You fat, judgmental bastard.
Dear Santa, For Christmas I want a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don’t fuck it up like you did last year and the year before ...
I'm a shopaholic on the road to recovery.... Just kidding. I'm actually on the road to the Dollar Tree
May your medications trick you into believing you're actually having a Merry Christmas.
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