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I was blessed with an awesome personality, a great ass, and a beautiful face. It just wouldn't be fair to the other girls if God gave me big boo...
Your gift was absolutely perfect for someone who's not me.
Darling, it was the best 30 seconds, ever. Really.
Thanks for going to great lengths to make feel okay about the size of my penis.
I don't have a "Honey-Do" list... I have an "I'll-Do-It-My-Fucking- Self" list! And surprise! The shit gets done!
Thanks for ignoring all my calls and texts while updating your Facebook every 5 minutes from your phone.
Thanks for dating someone ugly after me. I win.
"How beautiful a day can be, when kindness touches it!" ... George Elliston said
Thanks. Your gift was absolutely perfect for someone who's not me.
Thanks for spending your parent's hard-earned money on me.
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